Arse

Dyke van Dick

I really can’t be arsed. I know there was stuff that needs doing, washing up and stuff, but I just can’t be arsed. I’ve had a real arse of a day at work. This couple of arses on my team had been arsing about for hours, and it just pissed me off. I couldn’t help it, I just ended up having a go and being really arsey with them about the way they were dicking about. But instead of seeing that they were in the wrong, the main culprit just saw his arse and got really arsey back, which just proves what a fucking arsehole he is. He needs a fucking good kick up the arse from the manager. I won’t happen though, because he’s completely up the manager’s arse, and the manager’s fucking useless anyway, he doesn’t know his arse from his elbow. Still, I did get some pleasure from seeing this irritating prick leg himself up on a pile of stuff he’d left by his desk. He went completely arse over tit and I laughed my fucking arse off.

I finished work early but missed the first bus because some fat-arsed bitch was walking really slowly in front of me and wouldn’t shift her arse out of the way so I could get past. So when I got home, I was really riled up and fucking knackered and just wanted to get a few drinks down and get completely arseholed and forget about it. I couldn’t be arsed to cook a proper meal and got a takeaway instead. It was really bad, and I’d only just done eating it when I started shitting myself silly. After an hour’s bogtrotting, my arse was as sore as, but after than I started to get myself together, although I did slip on a wet patch on the kitchen floor and landed on my arse. Then I just spent the evening arseing about on Facebook and shit. It kept fucking up, because Facebook’s a bunch of arse and I don’t know how much longer I can be arsed with it. Besides, all of the arseholes on there are completely up their own arses. I don’t know why I bother: it’s all a load of arse.